


무죄 (Innocence)

by xmseok



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Cat/Human Hybrids, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:31:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2707478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xmseok/pseuds/xmseok
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo’s the sun Jongdae needs when night comes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	무죄 (Innocence)

He’s resigned himself to this as he tries to forget everything –including the insisting hands on his hips and the chest against his back, nothing more, nothing less. It’s routine. It’s familiar and it’s what he needs. Years ago, he’d have balked at the idea, but between homelessness and the whorehouse, it was an easy choice. Besides, no one would take in an unregistered catboy who’s no longer a minor. Leaving the orphanage was his first instinct. After that, it was the need to survive.

But tomorrow, he thinks. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow will be better he tells himself because he’s sure there won’t be bruising touches, biting teeth and forceful tugs at his tail. There won’t be harsh voices pushing him down with every word, no leash on his neck to keep him from running away during work, no more nights filled with held breaths as he takes every painful thrust. None of that, he wishes as he balls his fists into the rough sheets, more from the pain of being unprepared, than from pleasure.

‘Just grit your teeth’ was Joonmyeon’s way of saying goodbye every time he picks up a client. There would be a crease between his eyebrows, crinkled from the heavy makeup and the dry skin as his ears lie flat on his head. If this was better than living in the streets, then this must be a fucked up version of heaven.

“Come one, you know you fucking want this,” the man behind him growls, pounding into his hole. He’s not lubed properly, but he won’t complain. He can’t complain. Not when he has the sheets between his teeth to keep him from screaming out loud, to keep him from biting back. The walls in this dingy hotel are thin, and any sound might alarm other people, but if they did hear, he’s sure no one would care. Especially if it was from someone like him.

So he takes it all in, counting the thrusts –in, out, in, out, grunt. He takes and takes, as he curls his toes into the mattress, trying to gain leverage, inching away. Just a little bit more, he thinks as he squeezes his eyes shut, because this job doesn’t deserve his tears. It doesn’t deserve his pain, because all that’s left to his name is his pride.

“I saw how you fucking needed me, you slut,” the man grunts before gripping his tail, pulling harshly until he jumps, hissing at the rush of electricity in his veins. The man’s almost there, he can feel it in the way the thrusts turn erratic and shallow. He’s almost there, so the catboy lets go of the sheets to grip his dick. Just a quick tug and he’ll be done.

He hasn’t felt any pleasure since this started, but the tiredness takes over, making him more needy than anything and his heat’s due in the coming week. It’s easier right now, more from experience than pleasure and he clenches his hole, earning a harsh thrust from the man. Time heals all wounds, but for him, it builds walls, and he’s proud that he’s a fast learner. A year in this job would turn him mad if he wasn’t strong enough.

“Fuck,” the man above him whispers, hips stuttering as he releases into the condom and the catboy comes right after, spilling into the sheets. There’s usually no time to recover, no time to catch his breath because there’s no need for familiarity or intimacy. It’s protocol to immediately change, wipe his mess, and take his money before leaving.

It’s still dark outside, but he’s pretty sure it’s past midnight. He left the bar right around 12 to go straight to the hotel right above the building and the man didn’t even last long enough. It was an hour at most, and he knows he could get another client if he wanted to, but not today. He won’t take another client today. He doesn’t need to.

The man shuffles into his shoes as the catboy slinks to his side, leaning on the wall as he waits for his pay. “Right,” the man drawls, fishing for his wallet in his back pocket before counting the bills. He reaches out his hand when the man gives him the roll of bills, tucking them inside his jacket. It’s heavy, and he knows it’s worth it. One month filled with painful sex from this man and several unnecessary kinks, he’s got the full payment.

There’s no looking back, no goodbyes, as the catboy turns around to head to the door. “What’s your name?” the man calls out behind him, and it’s not difficult anymore.

“Chen,” he replies, quick and unblinking. If anyone wasn’t paying attention, they’d think it was his real name with the way the corners of his lips tilt upwards, and the subtle crinkle of his eyes –if they ignore the way his hand pats the cash inside his jacket.

Tomorrow –no, tonight. Tonight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The morning air is cold and it whips harshly against Jongdae’s face. He should pull the sleeves over his fingers to fight the cold, but it’s not long enough. His jacket’s not thick enough, either and it’s ripped at the ends, but it’s functional enough. He still can’t afford a thicker one. Maybe someday, a few months from now, who knows? He has a few others reserved for winter, but he can’t use them right now.

Walking to the small apartment he shares with Kyungsoo isn’t that hard. It’s near the bar, but no one knows that. It’s supposed to be a one-room apartment meant for one person, but they make it work. They’re small enough to fit and they don’t need so much space. Besides, money’s tight and it’s the best they both could afford without living in the streets.

His back’s still aching after a month of non-stop working, and his ass stings harshly, but it’s worth it. It had to be worth it with how he endured everything. He feels his tail twitch inside his sweats and his ears threaten to poke through the hood, but he can’t release them right now. It’s still early and anyone passing by might take him up for round two.

But tonight, it will be better.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s no elevator in the building and he has to climb the stairs to reach the third floor. Each step is painful, but he has to grit his teeth and take the next step until he arrives in front of the room. He’s sure Kyungsoo’s still asleep, and he’s right. Right after opening the door, he sees the messy mop of hair on the floor, asleep. There’s a cup of ramen on the table beside him, along with books scattered around him.

Kyungsoo has a few months of university left, knee-deep in student loans, and Jongdae still remembers how they met. It was four years ago when he started working on the streets, but it was also the year a bespectacled boy knocked on his door claiming to be his new roommate. Four years down, and another few more months to go until Kyungsoo leaves for a better life. Enough for Jongdae to memorize Kyungsoo’s features, to remember his voice until he’s left alone once again.

He steps around the sleeping boy, trying to be quiet, but Kyungsoo wakes up with a quiet whine, “It’s fucking three in the morning.” His voice is hoarse, but his eyes are awake when he looks at Jongdae.

Jongdae doesn’t need to say anything because Kyungsoo knows. He’s told him, and Kyungsoo took it in stride, but there were days when he saw the wariness in the other’s eyes, the way Kyungsoo would flinch at a simple touch. Jongdae would drop his hand right after to change the topic, jumping around to bring up the mood.

Kyungsoo sighs, brows furrowed as he looks over Jongdae’s state. “I’ve got a bath prepared in the bathroom. It might not be that warm, though.” He bites his lip, and Jongdae tries to ignore the jump of his pulse. He watches Kyungsoo turn around before following him to the bathroom.

He’s confused, but Jongdae gives Kyungsoo a small smile, taking his eyes away from the tub filled with water. There’s nothing special today, and this much water is a luxury to both of them. “Why?”

But Kyungsoo ignores him, brushing past him to kneel beside the tub. He still has a frown on his face as he dips a hand in the water, checking if it’s still warm enough. “It’s still warm.” Jongdae wishes to kneel beside him, to run a finger over the creases, but he’s not yet willing to cross the line.

He’s dealt with being naked in front of strangers, but he can’t find it in him to strip in front of Kyungsoo. There’s a certain type of vulnerability to it, and Jongdae knows he doesn’t want to fully bare himself to Kyungsoo lest he leaves. It’s too intimate, most probably too much for Kyungsoo. “Can you?” He twirls his finger, asking the other to turn around.

Kyungsoo nods, turning around and Jongdae feels his heart race. The last time this happened was when he was too drunk after dealing with a client. Joonmyeon brought him home, and Kyungsoo had to clean him up before taking him to bed. Now, it’s voluntary on both sides, Kyungsoo staying, with Jongdae willing to take the plunge.

He dips his toe first, after he takes off his clothes, save for his boxers. It is warm, and his body comes next, head ducking underwater. He tries to avoid sitting on his tail, deciding to sit side-ways, leaning on the edge. The knots on his back unravel and he lets out a sigh, prompting Kyungsoo to turn around. There’s something in his eyes when Jongdae meets his eyes, and he’s pretty sure it’s pity. “Why are you still doing this?” Kyungsoo asks, swirling the water around.

“I needed the money.” Jongdae replies, running a fingernail down the side of the tub. There’s a quiet tapping as Jongdae tries to avoid the topic. No one took him in when he looked for a job, too fresh out of the orphanage. Kyungsoo keeps quiet and Jongdae keeps his mouth shut tail swishing, unwilling to start the conversation.

He hears the squeeze of a bottle, but he keeps his eyes trained on the ripples near his hand. There’s a gentle hand on his head and he snaps his head towards Kyungsoo, surprised. But Kyungsoo ignores him with a blank look, “I worry about you.” He whispers, but Jongdae hears it loud enough. Kyungsoo scratches over his ears, and Jongdae tries not to mewl.

Jongdae feels his heart clench at Kyungsoo’s words, squeezing and squeezing until he’s wrung dry. His throat feels sore, and if the water wasn’t warm, his hands would be cold. “I’m Kim Jongdae,” He smiles at Kyungsoo, heart breaking at every nano inch his lips tug upward. It’s brittle, but he still has his pride. “I can take care of myself,” he says, clenching his hands underwater.

Kyungsoo’s smile is heavy, as if it’s difficult to form, “I know you can.” He points to Jongdae’s eyes, motioning him to close them and Jongdae follows, feeling the wash of warm water over his head. His body feels lighter than before and he brings his hand over his body, rubbing the foam left from the shampoo over his body and tail, too tired to use the soap.

Kyungsoo stands up, and Jongdae looks up at him, confused. The former points towards the door, smiling sheepishly as he slowly backs away, face red, “ I’ll just change. I’m soaked.” He’s gone after a second, and Jongdae feels the distance between them grow wider. He’s been so used to having Kyungsoo beside him; it will be difficult to move on.

He drains the water, using the shower to rinse before stepping out. Kyungsoo’s prepared everything, a new towel, and extra clothes. Jongdae tries to squash down the spark of hope, because he can’t allow himself to dream. He can’t be selfish. He hurries with changing, stepping out right after to head straight to the bedroom.

Kyungsoo’s already asleep in his bed, snoring the night away and Jongdae quietly shuffles towards his side. He takes out the roll of cash inside the pocket of his jacket before pulling open the top drawer beside his bed. There’s a stack of money inside –everything he’s earned, and Jongdae lets out a sigh of relief. It’s more than enough, he thinks. It’s more than enough to pay his debt. He’s already accepted at the small Chinese restaurant down the street.

By tomorrow –by tonight, he’ll be free. He’ll be finally free.

Jongdae turns to Kyungsoo, watching the way his chest rise and fall because maybe, just maybe, he might allow himself to dream. If things become better, then, maybe-

And when he falls asleep, he dreams of bright dreams, and brighter eyes. He dreams of sunshine and rain, of gentle hands scratching at his ears.

He dreams of quiet whispers and hands running through his hair as Kyungsoo smiles brightly at him, making his heart burst.

He’ll dream of a quiet voice whispering into his ear every night, taking out the words from his heart, “I love you,” Kyungsoo would say in his dream, “always.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyungsoo looks at Jongdae, and he sees the sun despite the lack of light at 4AM. He imagines the warmth of its heat –calming and comforting. He imagines the breath of fresh air, the way it fills his lungs, bringing him higher and higher.

Kyungsoo looks at Jongdae and he feels rain, the kind that brings him relaxation and life. It floods him until he’s drowning, gasping for air.

Kyungsoo looks at Jongdae and he sees the stars, the ones that shine so brightly, calling out for him, brighter than anything he’s ever seen. He feels the burn in his heart, glowing brighter with every glance, with every touch, day or night. He feels it and he doesn’t know when it started, but he knows as he brushes a lock of hair from Jongdae’s forehead.

“I love you.” He whispers, “always,” before shuffling back to his bed to wait for the sun to rise again.

**Author's Note:**

> my entry for in (posted [here](http://kittyexo12.livejournal.com/10168.html#t59064))


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